Doubt and Spiritual Deconstruction

What makes doubt so difficult? What’s the difference between doubt and deconstruction? How can therapy help?

Most people experience periods of doubt in their spiritual lives, but sometimes this becomes a defining experience. Doubts can be the sign of a new beginning – a spiritual renewal and enjoyment of your faith. Doubt can also be the sign of a final farewell – the spirituality and faith community that once felt like home may not feel like it fits you anymore.

Doubts can also be a sign that the emotional or intellectual resources that have helped you face struggles in the past, are not working to help you through the struggles of the present. Your doubts may be inviting you to grow and develop new ways of dealing with the struggles in your life.

Deconstruction – When Doubt Sets Off a Chain Reaction

Spiritual deconstruction is a word that has become more popular lately, although it doesn’t really have a firm definition. People who experience deconstruction have all experienced doubt. But not everyone who experiences doubt experiences deconstruction.

You might think of doubt as a pebble in your shoe or a dark raincloud following you throughout the day. Deconstruction is a more all-consuming experience where every aspect of your life – from your ethics to your career to your family relationships – are changing at the same time.

Spiritual Beliefs Impact Every Area of Your Life – and So Do Doubts

It is tempting to think of religion as being about “beliefs”. But as everyone who is part of a faith community knows, it’s also about who you are as a person as well as your relationships. Spirituality organizes all of these aspects of your life so that they make sense. When you experience doubt, it can work through your entire spiritual world and start to disrupt your identity and sense of belonging as well.

Think about these three things as interlocking gears:

Belief – The ideas and opinions you affirm about how the universe operates, ethics, and the meaning and purpose of life.

Belonging – All of the relationships you have and the social systems you are part of.

Identity – The unique role that you play in all of your relationships, as well as your inner emotional world.

Most of the time, our Belief-Belonging-Identity gears turn in harmony and can adapt to change. Doubt is what happens when one of those gears gets stuck. Deconstruction is what happens when all of the gears get stuck.

(Click here to learn more about how faith crisis can impact family relationships)

How Therapy Can Help

It is important to find a therapist who will listen carefully to you and not try to fit you into a predetermined mold that doesn’t reflect your struggles. Doubt is not deconstruction, and deconstruction is not doubt. Your treatment should reflect your needs.

Often people with doubt can feel pressured to make major life changes that may not be necessary to resolve their struggles. Many times, people who are in deconstruction know they need to make major life changes but feel pressured to stay the same. In therapy my goal is not to make spiritual decisions for you. By looking at the whole picture you can begin to understand the purpose of your faith crisis – and what change or growth it invites you to make.

Even though faith crisis is difficult and at times overwhelming, it is not forever. There is a way through this time of doubt or deconstruction. You might be afraid of losing your faith completely – and that is a real possibility. Many people do. You might also find yourself resolving your doubts or deconstruction and feeling at home in your spirituality once again. I can’t say what the future will hold, but I will work to help you feel empowered to face the future. No one can go on this spiritual journey for you, but there is help available as you find your way.

No matter what happens to your faith, your spiritual journey can move in the direction of emotional healing and relational wholeness.